Ross went inside. Jonathan stood in the middle of the kitchen/living room, shaking his head.

"God," Jonathan said. "Talk about a dive. What the !@#$ is going on?"

"It could be worse," Ross said.

Jonathan looked at him. "It is." He pointed to a corner, where green numbers floated in a vague blue mist. The number was horribly low.

"So?" Ross said.

"I've tried -- take something from the fridge. Those numbers drop. Use the phone, it charges you. And I don't think the mailbox is for friendly letters.... We're stuck in hell, we can't get home, and now we've got a !@#$ meter ticking!!"

"'!@#$'...???," Ross said. "Oh god, Jay -- you too?"

Shaken, Jonathan headed towards the lone, ratty bookshelf in the corner, shoved a couple tomes at Steve & Neal. "Start readin'," Jonathan ordered. "We've got to find a way out of here or what's going on."

"I'll tell you what's going on," Smitty said, grabbing another book. "Sony sold us out to Roger Rabbit."

Steve happened to glance out the window. "Guys...company...?"

Everyone jumped up.

At the door was a sinister goatee'd man in white. "Welcome," he said, "to Simville."

"Holy $#!@$!!" Ross jumped back. Flames erupted from the stove, where, out of curiousity, he'd been trying to cook a pixelated chili. (1)

"!@#$ it, I TOLD you to lay off the habaneros!!" Smitty shouted, as a strange piercing sound went off over the screams.

Suddenly Ross found his hands full of a toony fire extinguisher, and foam poured from it. He was too close to the flames, too damn close....

Just as suddenly as they'd erupted, the flames vanished. Exhausted, Ross let the extinguisher drop from his hands, & it vanished just as fast.

Journey stared at each other in horror.

"My god," Steve whispered. "It's a death trap. A huge !@#$ death trap..."

"Since when do YOU say '!@#$'?" Smitty asked.

"I don't !@#$-in' say '!@#$', I SAID '!@#$!@#$' ---" Steve stopped, his face shocked.

"Quit !@#$'in around," Neal said. "Or I'll !@#$ you both in the !@#$'in @$$."

"Wow," Smitty said, impressed. "G-rated !@#$-ing. That's a first for both of you."

1. The one character who DIDN'T get a cooking point was the first to try the !@#$%-in' stove. Go fig.